You’ve read that pile of self-help books. You’ve attended therapy for a while. You’ve taken your meds without ever missing a dose.
You’re making progress towards living your life in recovery, even if the biggest sign of that is the fact that you haven’t given up. But you still struggle, and you want relief.
You want freedom from the interpersonal problems that plague the relationships in every part of your life, following you from person to person. You want freedom from falling back into that same thinking that makes you irritable. But you’re stuck.
If this sounds like you, here are some ways to get unstuck:
- You can go back to basics that worked for you
- You can do some intense journaling to get you moving
- You can get support and use other tools
- You can clear past traumas—even if you’re not sure what they are—through something like accelerated resolution therapy (ART®)
Your seeming lack of motivation may actually be related to something called secondary gain. This is a term to describe what is usually an unconscious process of staying unwell because there is some way you are benefitting from that.
You’re not consciously choosing to stay stuck. It is typically because of an unmet need—a very real and valid need that was not met. Experienced clinicians see this through a compassionate lens, but, sadly, some medical professionals or family members may not. We may need to identify and gently approach some of these past traumas of feeling misunderstood before we can address the primary issues that brought you to therapy.